Veteran's Day was a beautiful sunny day this year......it was also on a Thursday. Everyone knows that holidays are celebrated on Mondays so that city, state, and federal employees get the day off and a long weekend. And that is why on this beautiful sunny day I loaded up the car with my garbage and started driving to the local landfill.
Somewhere along the way I remembered it was a holiday and realized that the landfill was closed. The workers at the landfill always have a huge sign stating the next upcoming holiday and their next day off ---- like a goal to reach. But it was a gorgeous day and I was in the mood to be out and about, and I decided to drive to Vermont. I set off on the hour's drive, happy to be enjoying the sunshine. The garbage was enjoying the sunshine too as it steamed away in the trunk of my car. It wasn't long before the odor started wafting my way through the open window and finding a place to dump this load became high priority. I scanned the road looking for a blue dumpster but they were all behind locked fences. Garbage cans lined the road all the way to Vermont but they were empty, pickup had already happened. They were taunting me, laughing at me, as I drove on and on, their flapping lids seemed to say "Nyah nyah". As the garbage ripened in the sun, I wondered if I would soon smell pretty ripe too.
At last I spotted a Big Blue at a Sunoco!!! I got out of the car and felt like an idiot explaining my situation to the two cashiers. No, they said, I couldn't use their dumpster because they pay by the pound. I would have turned to leave, but the woman was flipping burgers as she told me the bad news. I am like Wimpy, cannot resist a burger, and was stunned to see a sign saying they have Boar's Head deli meat!!! Are all Sunoco's like this? They had salads, and cold sandwiches, it was a real deli in the middle of a gas station. I ordered a burger and the two cashiers were like a comedy team. We laughed, we joked, he did a dance for me. While I waited for the burger I picked up a mac & tuna salad, a chocolate chip cookie, a bottle of water and yes, I went for it, a Butterfinger! I left with my little picnic lunch and alas...the garbage.
I arrived at last in Bennington and drove to the Bennington Battlefield. I recalled happy times in the past when I had taken the kids to see the monument, the one my small son called "The Big Penie". I found an open spot, parked and chowed down. The burger was delicious, and I swear the salad was the best I had ever bought at a deli. The cookie was loaded with huge chunks of chocolate, and tasted homemade. I couldn't finish it all, but I was definitely in hog heaven and had the greasy fingers and face to prove it.
I drove through downtown Bennington, stopped at a store and picked up a magazine and a free Guide. I did not see any open dumpsters, and now that my joy from lunch was fading, the reality of driving home with the garbage hit me. Who would take this smelly problem away? I drove around for a little while longer but no solution appeared. Sadly, I knew it was time to head home and face all those empty cans thumbing their lids at me.
Now it was later in the day and the sun was even warmer than before. And suddenly I saw it!!! A big blue dumpster calling me, its lid wide open and beckoning, singing its siren song "Fill Me Up, Buttercup". It was in the parking lot of a little drive-in coffee shack. I drove up to the window and told the girl my sad story, steeling myself for the rejection. Imagine my joy when she said Sure, go ahead and put your garbage in our dumpster!!!!! I was thrilled, elated, and joyfully hopped out of the car and opened the trunk. In the open dumpster went the two bags!!! I was so happy and relieved, and couldn't believe my good fortune as I stood in the sun and tried to wave the fumes away. What a happy ride home!! This must be the way Santa feels when he leaves his goodies!!!
At home, flipping through the Vermont Guide I worried a little.....is it illegal to transport homemade garbage across state lines? But mostly I was thankful ---- because if I had gotten to Bennington an hour earlier me and my garbage would have been in the parade!!!
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